If you are finding out about this just now…
Before continuing, I need to both give a warning and offer an apology. First, the warning: this essay is really intended for an audience who are acquainted with the Baháʼí Faith, not only theoretically, but our community life, culture, ideas, priorities and practices. That being said, I recognize that people curious in the Faith, perhaps even considering to join it, may come across this essay. Consequently, I will hyperlink to information elsewhere on the Internet, and I have some advice below about how they should relate to this essay.
I want to apologize to those among the Friends who are just now learning about my feelings by reading this essay. My failure to have given you some notice is frustrating for me. Some of you may feel slighted, as though I did not truly value our connection, and some of you may feel disappointed that I never gave you a chance to discuss what was happening between me and the Faith. Because I did talk with some of the Friends during this year, I feel that I owe an explanation to those of you who were left out, as well as some reassurances.
There were different reasons I did not have a thorough consultation with each of you. For the majority of you, it was really about time and energy, as the year since submitting my dissertation has been an intense period, including two international relocations and the complete reconfiguration of the life plans of myself and my wife. The right moment to have a conversation simply never came, despite wanting it. For some of you, there were opportunities, but I simply did not know how to formulate my thoughts and feelings in a way that could bridge the divide between your deep commitment to the Faith and my rapidly growing doubts in it. I cannot apologize enough, and I hope in the coming weeks and months, we will finally find the time.
I know from firsthand experience that the first reaction of many Baháʼís to news of someone leaving the Faith, especially after that person had been a member for a significant part of their lives, is a mix of sadness and fear — sadness at losing someone dear to them, fear that this person will turn against them. I want to reiterate that my intention is not to become an enemy of the Faith. As you read on, you will see that I do have very grave doubts about the Writing’s complete veracity. However, I will try to be fair, accurate and precise in the statements I make below, for two reasons.
First, I would regret needlessly causing harm to the Baháʼí community by slandering its reputation. I especially do not want to scare away anyone from joining, for their experience with the Faith and their spiritual understanding and needs may be very different from mine. Toward this end, I will take pains to defend the Faith on some key points. For example, I will defend the Baháʼí leadership against the accusation of fundamentalism, which has been raised by former Baháʼís like Juan Cole. Granted, much depends on how “fundamentalism” is defined. Many religions can be described as “fundamentalist” insofar that they must take care to develop their concepts and practices in a manner consistent with the fundamentals of their belief systems. That said, insofar that “fundamentalism” connotes fanaticism, I want to assure the would-be Baháʼí at the outset that I do not believe this accusation is true.
Second and relatedly, I recognize that so much of what is at stake here has to do with perception and interpretation. That means there is a very real chance the problems I see are not entirely accurate or are just flat out incorrect, and even if they are accurate, my diagnoses of their causes may be totally off. As not only a now-former Baháʼí, but a former journalist and a trained philosopher with 13 years’ experience in the Faith, there is a risk that a would-be Baháʼí might put too much stock in my opinions. My suggestion to those curious about the Faith is this: read my opinions, by all means take them seriously, but engage the Writings and the Baháʼís for yourself, on your own terms. If you disagree with me and feel pulled to Baháʼu’lláh but simultaneously feel uncertain because of everything I will say here, trust yourself and join this religion.
Spiritual Journalism 